Amputate them? [His mind hadn’t even gone that far, and he’d look over at Pitou if he could see from over the propped up hood of this van.] No one said anything about amputation… I mean, unless they hurt you or anything?
I use monster to encompass creatures I generally wouldn't have considered biologically possible.
[ Not, exactly, to denigrate. ]
Some cat-human-maybe-something-else hybrid falls into that category. I am either some very bizarre species, or I'm some kind of science experiment. Either way monster applies.
[ Speaking of protein shakes: ]
I meant for the engine. Why is Prompto drinking protein shakes?
Prompto's all about healthy eating. Maybe he has a protein shake, maybe he doesn't, but... I don't know, he's more likely to than me. He jogs and stuff, counts calories, that kind of thing.
[You would think so. But both of these boys are useless in their own ways.]
...I hope not. [Shoulders relaxing, but still weirded out.] I don't know. People are changing in weird ways, getting even weirder memories... maybe you turned into a human-eating-cat. Would that be so strange after everything else that's happened?
Anyway, you shouldn't go around saying stuff like that.
[He sighs and returns back to the van which is mewing slightly. The fact that he's turned away means that he's at least starting to understand that this is hopefully one big joke... maybe.]
[Pitou will only hear his voice, since he's going to be working for a bit.]
That's a nice mental image.
[He pauses.]
I read about that, though. It's hard to believe that it's true, and honestly? I'm not going to go testing it out on myself any time soon. Not dying is supposed to be a comforting thing, right? It's not. At all.
[Twisted immortality that he didn't ask for, is what he means.]
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[He wouldn’t know one way or another.]
You should see a doctor about it.
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[ A slurp of coffee. ]
Aren't they just going to tell me 'yes, you have a tail now'?
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[More dry humor in 3, 2, 1...]
Guess you could try a vet instead. Also, your engine overheated.
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[ Obligate carnivores and what-not. Pitou peers in under the hood at him: ]
So go get some coolant.
[ They'll be here drinking coffee. ]
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[Said in a way that indicates no real irritation, just an observation.]
Then you should've asked for a protein shake instead of coffee. Pretty sure Prompto has some of that stuff for it lying around in the apartment...
[He goes to dig around in his backpack again, and remarks:]
You really think you're a cat monster, though?
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[ Not, exactly, to denigrate. ]
Some cat-human-maybe-something-else hybrid falls into that category. I am either some very bizarre species, or I'm some kind of science experiment. Either way monster applies.
[ Speaking of protein shakes: ]
I meant for the engine. Why is Prompto drinking protein shakes?
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[He's bad at this, okay.]
Prompto's all about healthy eating. Maybe he has a protein shake, maybe he doesn't, but... I don't know, he's more likely to than me. He jogs and stuff, counts calories, that kind of thing.
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If I wanted protein, wouldn't I just eat you?
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Um. No?
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[ Their tail swishes, excited about something. ]
Your organs would probably do nicely enough, even if the rest was a bit stringy.
[ They slide closer, just to be a creep. ]
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...If you eat me, who's going to fix your car and save your cats?
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[ A very sweet smile as they lean against the van. ]
What do you think? Could you stop me?
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I... uh.
[How is he supposed to reply to that? He stands, shifting on his feet.]
I could outrun you.
[Out... ride them, on his motorcycle.]
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But Pitou just smiles at him. ]
You do realize I'm not going to cut you up and eat you, right?
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...I hope not. [Shoulders relaxing, but still weirded out.] I don't know. People are changing in weird ways, getting even weirder memories... maybe you turned into a human-eating-cat. Would that be so strange after everything else that's happened?
Anyway, you shouldn't go around saying stuff like that.
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[ The flick of an ear. ]
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I hear they call that murder.
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[ They lean back against the van, looking upwards. ]
Besides, I hear those of us Retrospec has paid attention to can't die. It might not be in my best interest for my digestion to eat one of you.
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That's a nice mental image.
[He pauses.]
I read about that, though. It's hard to believe that it's true, and honestly? I'm not going to go testing it out on myself any time soon. Not dying is supposed to be a comforting thing, right? It's not. At all.
[Twisted immortality that he didn't ask for, is what he means.]
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[ Not knowing annoys Pitou so deeply. ]
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[And that also settles very badly within him, for reasons both obvious and ones he can't quite put his finger on.]
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[ Or was he just the speediest mechanic with a soft spot for kitties in town. ]
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[He's frowning now, even if it can't be seen.]
I remembered golden chocobos. And a giant snake that was trying to kill me... or eat me, I think.
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[ They're laughing at him. ]
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No, I've been allergic to the idea of being eaten alive since I can remember.
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